false prophets

The fans were getting impatient. “Bench it Like Beckham,” read one sign, while others berated him for having the audacity to be injured. The American sportsfan attention span was quickly turning against him, but the other day Beckham finally started a game, as captain no less, and scored his first Galaxy goal, a copyrighted trademark textbook (and cliché-filled? ) free kick. It was in the Superliga, played between MLS and Mexican teams, kind of the North American equivalent to the Anglo-Italian Cup (but without the mighty Swindon).

Mystic Pete should have seen it coming, but was shaking his head in wonder at his latest curse-stricken prognostics. He said, for example, that Genk would become Champions of Belgium. The next day, Genk lost 5-0. Early doors, though. Man United will win the league again, he said; then Rooney injures his foot, Cristiano Ronaldo gets sent off, they drop points against two fairly lame teams. Spurs, well, two defeats after being predicted easy fourth place plus the Cup. Long season though! Cardiff, they’ll go up into the Premiership, he says; next day reads the news they’re being sued for 30 million quid, and we all know what happens to smaller clubs in the financial bogs (eh, Leeds). Cheers Mystic Pete. Marseille will finally break Lyon’s deadlock in France! Two nil-nil draws later, still looking for a goal, OM faithful less certain. It’s a long season to come though! Bayern Munich, may get the UEFA Cup but will do nothing in the league, they don’t have the players. Werder Bremen will win it, they still have Klose! Mystic Pete said. Next day, he reads Kicker (German footy mag) and learns that Klose, yes, now plays for Bayern, as do goal-machines Franck Ribéry and Luca Toni. Ja, vielleicht wird Bayern ‘was machen. Still, Southgate’s job looks unsure, but if the papers are believed (do they ever lie?) Jol might beat him to it. Still, long old season ahead of us. Never mind Mystic Pete. More like Myopic Pete.

originally posted at 20six.co.uk/petescully

cash cab

My feelings about American telly are well-documented. Two many (loud) advert breaks, schedules being the same every single day, endless reality shows modeled on the worst of British (with cheesy soundtracks and editing) (most American shows these days are modeled on something British), crap asinine game shows requiring little or no knowledge of anything (Jeopardy being the huge exception), news shows fronted by giggling imbeciles with huge hair, faux concerned looks, enormous teeth and absolutely no sense of when to shut up and stop prattling pointless nonsense. Yes, I try not to watch much TV.

I tell you one fairly enjoyable quiz show my wife and I have discovered recently, though: Cash Cab. Set inside a taxicab on the streets of New York, unsuspecting passengers climb into the cab, state their destination to the driver, and suddenly colourful lights appear on the ceiling and they are told they are on a game show. The driver, New Yorker Ben Bailey (who looks like a younger De Niro mixed with Elliot Stapler from Law & Order), asks them a series of questions as he takes them through the congested city streets, and each time they answer a question correct they get cash. If they get stuck, they have two ‘shout-outs’ they can use, one mobile (like phone-a-friend), and one street shout-out, whereby they pull over, and ask someone from the sidewalk to help with their question. If they get three questions wrong, that’s three strikes and the driver kicks you out of the cab, no matter where you are, with no money (a free cab ride though). If you get to the end, you can either keep the cash, or go double-or-nothing with a bonus question. It’s an interesting concept for a game show, and good fun. Now I thought to myself, it’s a very New York show, set inside the iconic yellow-cab; given the trivia-soaked black-cabbies in London you could have it there too. Maybe you already do?

Well I looked it up, and yes it seems you do, and yes, like all shows these days, you actually had it there first, on ITV, since 2005 (the year I left). Jeez, it makes me feel like I’ve been away for ever.

Originally posted at 20six.co.uk/petescully

mystic pete returns among us

I received an urgent fax from the ether today…with only one day to go before the football season begins in England, Mystic Pete communicated with me, his vessel on the earthly plane, with this year’s football predictions. Now I know Mystic Pete has had his moments in the past (four years in a row the teams he predicted for the champion’s league all got knocked out in round 1, newcastle to win the league the season they ended up sacking bobby robson, etc etc), but there is no reason to doubt his prognostic prowess. “…another title for Man United…” he said not-so-cryptically, “…spurs coming fourth; arsenal fifth maybe, but only because everyone else are still too rubbish to get there…” He went on, “barcelona for the champion’s league…” (thierry henry is quaking already) “…cardiff city to get promoted, but not as champions…derby, wigan and birmingham to go down…marseille to finally break lyon’s deadlock in france…fernando torres to score loads of goals…gareth southgate will be first manager on the chopping block, and boro will stay up as a result…” Oh yes, and the obligatory “…spurs for the fa cup…” Yeah you say that every year mate, please give us a chance for once! He even had a few predictions for Euro 2008: “…don’t worry england, you’ll get there, and i’ll hazard northern ireland and scotland will too…mystic pete used a calculator…”

And the mists evaporated and Mystic Pete was gone, for another year, off to predict football scores in other alternate universes. You can see his full list if you follow the “Mystic Pete” link (on the old blog). I bear no responsibility.

Originally posted at 20six.co.uk/petescully

i’ve hit more home runs than you’ve had hot dinners

There’s been a lot I want to blog about lately, but I’ve been a little preoccupied; the state of the healthcare system (and mr bush saying nobody wants a nationalized government-funded healthcare system, while his own operation was funded by, yup, the guvverm’nt); presidential hopeful barrack obama scaring his support away by saying he’d bomb pakistan without pakistan’s support; or maybe the weather, which has been unseasonably cool for summer in Davis, to the point of being cold and in the 70s (compared to the 110 degrees this time last year). But I thought I’d wrench myself away from the sketchbook to mention a sporting occasion tonight (no, not the forthcoming football season this weekend): Barry Bonds has finally become baseball’s all-time home-run king.

Barry who? you may be saying back in England. (Didn’t he used to manage west ham?) You probably aren’t though; I remember hearing about some baseball hitters on the ITN news back home over the years. Well anyway, the San Francisco Giants veteran slugger, with the indifferent look on his face, hit homer number 756 tonight, and he did it at home, at the AT&T Park, in fromt of possibly the only people in the country who like him. You see, every time you read about him, every time he is talked about on the news, his name is prefaced by “love him or hate him”. This is because of the allegations of (unproven) steroid use (or is it misuse? that makes it sound like he didn’t use them properly). Well, we’re Giants fans, so we are pleased about it. funny thing is, I used to know a guy in Belgium called Barry Bonds, though I think he was more cricket than baseball. anyway, well done Barry; and now we wait for the Premiership.

originally posted on 20six.co.uk/petescully

the smoking gun

The Disney Corporation, I’ve just heard, are going to be the first studio to ban images of smoking in their movies. Now while I am all for smoking bans, I’m not entirely sure how you can be affected by second-hand smoke from a cinema screen. However I can see what they’re doing – they don’t want to glamorize it, especially to younger viewers. Fair enough. They’ll have to edit out the Caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. But to ban it completely…it does seem a very big move against artistic freedom, I’m not sure how I feel about it. So why don’t they ban depictions of people being shot?

I was thinking this the other day while watching TV (I think it was a movie; I rarely watch TV these days unless it’s a quiz show or travel show, or football with Mexican commentary), and I noticed that the swear-words had been edited out (with anomalous moments of silence), and yet the random bloody shooting of people remorselessly by what were being portrayed as normal people, not psychopaths, was absolutely fine for these sensitive viewers. Watch a guy have his guts blasted across the living room wall, you can even smell the lead, but you can’t hear it when he says ‘fuck’. Heaven forbid. It’s one of the famous seven banned words on American TV. Obviously, you hear someone saying fuck, you’ll want to tear down society, whereas watching the casual use of guns, that won’t affect you. Just a thought.

Originally posted at 20six.co.uk/petescully

move over david

Considerez ceci:

Never mind Beckham. Something else has finally arrived, albeit slightly different. Pepsi Max, as anyone who knows me knows it’s my favourite drink, is here in the US, known however as ‘Diet Pepsi Max’, with all the same shit as in the original, zero sugar, plus the addition of ginseng, meaning I can also wash my hair in it. Pepsi Max! Here in America!

Never mind Beckham. They (the mysterious ‘they’, who make things happen) have remade the Bionic Woman as a new series, and starring as the bionic lass herself is…Zoe Slater! Off Eastenders! There we are, watching the TV, and a preview comes on, and there she is. She’s supposed to be ‘involved in a near-fatal car accident’ before being rebuilt as an android…I really hope this accident takes place new year’s eve, outside the Vic, just for old times sake. I wonder if Dennis Rickman will show up as the six-million dollar man.

Never mind Beckham. Tomorrow is Harry Potter Day, and downtown Davis is having a big feast of activities in the run-up to midnight, when the books will be released. I saw the latest movie, Order of the Phoenix, twice already – the first time, I really enjoyed it, but I couldn’t help but notice all the things that were missing or different. The second time, I enjoyed it a lot more, because I was watching it as a film.

Never mind Beckham. I bought the new Art Brut album recently, “It’s a Bit Complicated”. I’ve followed them for years now, and I was worried that a second album would not, could not, live up to the punch of the first. This second album, however, doesn’t even. I can see what they’re doing, and musically they’re more accomplished (not always a good thing), but the themes are a bit tired, a little samey, there is none of the rough-and-readiness of Bang Bang Rock’nRoll. Whereas their first album seemed effortless, on this one they just didn’t make an effort. I’m still a fan.

And finally, never mind Beckham, here in Davis, in the middle of July, it RAINED! I remember this time last year, sweltering in the ridiculous central valley heat, thinking it would never be cool ever again. It was about 115 F…this week it was in the low 80s, and it even rained. I read in the paper that the last time we saw rain up here on July 18th was in the days of the Gold Rush. I didn’t live here then. And nor did Beckham.

Originally posted at 20six.co.uk/petescully

when saturday comes

 Alors, je suis de retour, considerez ceci…

Beckham has landed. Rather, The Beckhams have landed. LA Galaxy unveiled goldenballs this week, along with a brand new kit and badge, club colours, in fact pretty the only thing they haven’t done is rename the club ‘Beckham Soccer Club’. It’s all very exciting now, but I have a feeling this will turn out to be a bad move for Beckham, maybe even for the MLS. And maybe for Posh as well – recently recalled into the Spice Girls team, she may find the long commute between Hollywood and Abbey Road seriously affects her singing voice.

Incidentally, the author of this BBC article apparently has no idea who Beckham is or what year it is, bizarrely believing David was a teenager in the 1970s, saving up his cash for the latest Abba album. It also implies that the Blind Beggar pub is in Walthamstow, when it is miles away in Whitechapel. Come on, BBC, you can do better than this hackneyed twaddle.

And it’s new football kit time of year. I’ve been following all the new kits on this site – there do seem to be a lot of clubs switching to Umbro these days, don’t there? Umbro is seeing a resurgence. What I’ve noticed most this year is the way they’re all being marketed: 125th anniversary here, centenary there, Celtic are commemorating the 40th anniversary of the Lisbon Lions, Northern Ireland are celebrating 25 years since they were in the 1982 World Cup (which wasn’t even their last time there). Best of all, Arsenal have a new white away kit, marketed not as the ‘we-wish-we-were-Spurs-now’ kit, but the ‘Chapman’ kit, enticing people to buy it by associating it with their 1930s manager. Shameless.

Changing sports to baseball, this week San Francisco hosted the All-Star Game, American League versus National League. I saw some of it, on TV of course, it was quite fun, my wife tried explaining some of the rules to me, the fly-balls, the bases which can and can’t be over-run, all of that confusing fun. The most fun was reserved for the guys on the little boats in the bay, waiting for a home-run ball to come splashing their way (and from SF Bay to e-bay). There was even a little bulldog swimming around in a lifejacket. The thing I liked the most, though, was the poster for the event, a classic style.

Oh man, while I was out sketching in Sacramento last week, I lost my mechanical eraser. Listen, I had had this thing for about 18 years, it was my favourite sketching item and I just knew I’d lose it someday. I clip it to my bag or my shirt or wherever, I’m very lax, but I’ve had it since I was about 13 and managed not to lose it. So I have bought a replacement, and it’s just not the same.

I still managed to do some sketching this week:

by the poolin capitol park, sacramentoagain by the green creeka person at lunch

Year 2, Week 84: He’s Considering a Move to LA

LA is a great big freeway, a famous song once said, and northern California was a place you went to escape its smog-filled alleys and valleys. The idea of this city – and I have been there before – to a non-driver such as myself was anathema to my very ideals. It was just too big (and this coming from a Londoner), too sprawling, too unfocused, too reliant on the dreaded automobile, too balkanised between violent ghettos and super-wealthy media-types (again, this from a Londoner). A terrible public transport system you’d only take if you were too criminally insane to be allowed behind the wheels of a car. A city that would swallow you alive. I’m glad I went down there for a visit by myself, because I think that finally my perceptions have shifted, just a bit.

Of course, the experience of getting from LAX to Disneyland didn’t help much. Stuck on a mile-wide freeway in a small shuttle bus in a vast densely populated plain south of the yellow-tinged hills and the tall towers of downtown LA that looked like so many tombstones. Lookng at the map, I was passing through areas of legend – Inglewood, Compton, South Central, Watts – it may as well have been, if popular imagination is anything to go by, Beirut, Gaza, Baghdad, Darfur. The freeway couldn’t get us away quickly enough. The only part of these areas I actually got to see however was a Taco Bell parking lot, while the bus driver was taking a leak, and to my surprise it wasn’t filled with boyz in the hood shooting each other on sight. I remembered when I first heard of drive-by shootings, and imained people going up to a little booth, winding down the car window, a gun coming out and shooting, then being handed a drink and some fries. Well they don’t do fries at Taco Bell, so no chance of that here.

I came back this way on the way from Anaheim to Santa Monica, where I was basing my little solo excursion to LA. I’d heard it was nice, one of the nicer parts of California, and being by the Ocean there was less chance of me getting lost. I got a public bus, through Marina Del Ray and Venice, and there was a guy on there I thought I recognised, conversing loudly with a couple of tourists about the hidden beauties of the area. after he got off, the other passengers excitedly said that he was from TV, he’d been in that show Deadwood (it wasn’t the Lovejoy guy, though), and that you get that sort of thing all the time. I, however, thought I’d recognised him because he looked a bit like my uncle Eddie when he was younger, so kept quiet. Anyway, at only a dollar, the public bus was perfect and finally got me away from the insulated reality of cars and freeways, taking me to the streets. I instantly felt a little bit at home – apart from the golden sunshine and the abundance of palm trees, I could have been in London – except people were friendlier.

Santa Monica hit me instantly. I see the world in pen and paint and every sight I saw I wanted to draw, every house, every tree, every shop. My motel, while still in Santa Monica, was probably more correctly located in Ocean Park, on a vibrant little stretch of Main Street, a couple of blocks from the immense perfect sandy beach, Venice to the south, Malibu to the north, and Japan many leagues to the West. Everybody I met was friendly and local, and yet I still got that big city feeling I’ve missed. I had a slice of one of the best New York style pizzas I’ve ever had from a little place where I overheard conversations between animators and designers, before going to a little cafe I’d seen where a small and seriously talented jazz band played incredibly soothing music to me while I ate a day-old croissant. I was the only customer – it was true don’t-get-too-popular jazz (and the guitarist had almost the same Ibanez as me). I followed this with a walk to the tourist-and-light-filled pier, before strolling back to try some of the Main St pubs recommended by locals. The only thing I could say agianst this place at the end of the day was that the beers in the pubs were too expensive. It’s probably an LA thing.

I took a bus to the posh Westwood, home of UCLA and on the cusp of Beverly Hills and Bel Air, from where I took another public bus up to the Getty Center. I had worried that my accent would be misunderstood when I got on and that I would end up in the centre of the Ghetto, but thankfully that didn’t happen. The Getty was incredible, overlooking Los Angeles like an acropolis. I saw only a small part of the actual collection – it was the building and the grounds that held my interest, especially the labyrinthine gardens. I took the bus back, and for a moment I was in north London, on the 210 going through Highgate across Hampstead Heath. It was a little jarring. The rest of my time, though I’d planned to venture inland again, was spent clinging to the Ocean. Santa Monica’s sunday morning farmer’s market was right opposite my motel, and while so many of these markets have disapponted me with their smugness, this one felt happy, sunny, with its aging Mamas-and-Papas type band, and though it sounds incredibly corny, I felt as though at last I’d found the mythical place called ‘California’. The place made me feel like a friendlier person – I started to let people watch me sketch (which I never ever do), and even realised I was singing aloud to my headphones as I was walking down the street, but it didn’t matter – it seemed like everybody else was, too. I only saw a tiny glimpse of LA as an auto-less traveller, but it was enough to dispel a few myths (and to be fair, a few realities), and while we won’t be moving to LA any time soon, at least now I see it as a place to consider.

Year 2, week 82: No Picnic

It’s the big event of the year for Davis, the one local event when everybody says, yes I should get myself down there for that. Picnic Day has been a feature of the UC Davis spring calendar for about ninety years. It is the largest student-organised open house event in the US, when the departments swing open their doors and put on all sorts of fun events, often involving animals (the university began as an agricultural school, and still has many resident cows, some of whom apparently have windows in their stomachs, which must be a pane in the arse). I had to miss last year’s Picnic Day due to working – I still got to see the parade as it marched past the bookstore though – so I was really looking forward to this year’s event. I particularly wanted to see the famous Battle of the Bands event, a band-off between marching bands that is apparently lots of fun. I never got to find out, though, because this year it pissed down, so we just said sod it, and went home.

We did see the parade, though, marching past the bookshop – a surprising number of people took part, either covered up beneath layers of plastic, or braving the elements dressed up in whatever their department represents (the Classics dept, for example, were all robed in skimpy Roman togas). The legendary “California Aggie Marching Band-uh!” led the way (silly name, I know, but highly beloved and very popular – click here for a ridiculously long and detailed history of the organization), followed by all manner of madness, tractors and the like. My favourite paraders (apart from the giant cow) are the quirky wheeled contraptions invented by eccentric Davisites – you often see these guys around town, bobbing up and down on two great tires and the like. I should write a blog entry all about these guys, but other than the wierd spectacle and the odd sight downtown, I know nothing at all about them – they are as mysterious to me as a golf club to a pelican. Don’t ask where that phrase just came from.

We attempted to leave downtown Davis and cross the bollard divide into the land of the UC, where the real fun was to begin. I was interested in seeing the band-off, and the doxy derby (sausage dogs racing each other, I’m told), but the rain got the better of us. We tasted some brand new UC Davis olive oil, got some free vines at the viticulture and enology department (look the word up if you don’t know what it means; I went for an interview with them once, and I thought it was something to do with insects), but couldn’t bear to keep going. Some picnic. Still, I heard that it continued, albeit with most events cancelled. A few days later, I read a letter in the college newspaper from a rain-disgruntled student saying that Picnic Day should be moved to May. Despite the fact we’ve had hardly any rain this year, and that that it is usually very warm and sunny in mid April. Please. I was bummed it rained, but you know, these things sometimes happen. Honestly, this guy should be grateful – in England, if there’s a picnic or a parade or a holiday of any kind, you expect it to rain. Sure, getting drenched was a downer, but it did kind of remind me of home.

Year 2, Week 80: Antiques Roadshow

I hated Sundays when I was a kid, for many reasons. There was none of the sense of hope you got on a Saturday. Saturday’s were brilliant, weren’t they? Getting up and watching the cartoons and the loud and colourful morning shows, with the likes of Timmy Mallett, Michaela Strachan and Noel Edmonds, then later on there’d be the A-Team and football down the park, followed by the final scores (back when Spurs were great and Arsenal were shite); Sunday morning meant Grange hill repeats and being dragged around car-boot sales. And there was that awful dead period of TV on a sunday, from about 5pm (by when any possible footy that might have been on was over) until about 10, when Spitting Image would start. This dead period would be punctuated by such shows as Highway, Songs of Praise, Credo, Last of the Summer Wine, and – as if the car-boot sale experience wasn’t enough – Antiques flipping Roadshow.

Well guess what – they have it here too. But it’s not on Sundays, it’s on weekdays – it just feels like Sunday when it’s on. Oh, now don’t get me wrong – I actually do like the show. Really. The American version is very much like the British version, it’s not a glitzy win-fabulous-prizes in-your-face copy, and it’s on PBS, which means it has some dignity and no commercials. It doesn’t have Hugh Scully, but it does have Mark Walberg, and it’s not the guy from Planet of the Apes. I’ll tell you what I like about it though. While the British show ambles about the country from village hall to community centre, parading sensibly embarassed old folks trying their best not to show their elation / disappointment at the valuation of their old coronation teapots, the American one is a true roadshow, which really does get about – this is a big country, and yokel Americans can be really, really funny.

Last night’s one was in Mobile, Alabama (the place namechecked by a stuck Dylan on Blonde on Blonde), and you gotta love the Deep South, their colourful stories and their rocking-chair-on-the-verandah accents. One old fellow was talking about some event that happened back in his own history that was only vaguely connected to the rug or whatever that he was showing, saying how “we hadda rootin-tootin-good-tahm, yes sir!” They show such genuine love for their old family junk, especially such traditional Americana as blankets, and they really do practically fall off their chairs when told that the lampshade they picked up in a junk store in 1957 is worth ten thousand dollars. More than the human side though is the sense of American culture and history that, as an outsider, it’s often difficult to find otherwise. An old ‘Duke’ football, means nothing to me, but it turns out it’s from the ‘golden age of football’ (their football, not ours), which again doesn’t mean anything to me, but at least I could understand the warmth with which they spoke about it.

One of the more interesting historical artefacts that was evaluated was an old Confederate Army belt buckle. This guy, whose accent had such a twang you could play the fiddle with it, dug this belt up in his cotton field and was going around wearing it for many years. It turns out it’s a highly desirable item and, with it’s deep-rooted southern history, could easily pick up twenty grand at an auction, much to the evaluator’s excitement and old Zeke’s astonishment. What they never brought up, but I’ll bet they both thought it, is that this very same belt may well have been used to beat poor black slaves in that very same cotton field; it’s hard to escape that sinister image of the south. When you start to imagine the hidden history in such a seemingly innocent item as a belt buckle, well, it kind of puts complaining about Last of the Summer Wine on a Sunday evening in Burnt Oak into a little perspective.